This thing in my chest...
What does it take?
I've heard hours and hours worth of advice from people who appear to have what I want, but in all reality, aren't they exactly like me, rehashing and retelling the things they have heard from other people? Is there even a point in preaching a subject if your audience has heard it so many times that they have become numb to it's message? Where is the personal gain for someone being told what or what not to do for the nineteenth billion time? Do people not see the redundancy in this method of "teaching"?
I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore, I feel like everyone is being turned into a piece of meat: a piece of refined, factory made, run of the mill, americanized meat, coming fresh off an assembly line and it makes me sick. We are all taught a certain way to do things and it has led to a massive disconnect of what God is all about. I don't know why this has just hit me like a train but it is burning inside of me like a raging fire; I can feel the pressure of it inside my lungs and I am about to pop like a balloon that has been pushed to it's limits. Words cannot fully emphasize nor describe what I feel so I am asking you, the person reading this right now, to focus not on my words, but my meanings behind them.
I remember in the halls of my old high school I once saw a poster that read "Do you know Jesus, or do you just know about him?". Let's break that down. In essence, the poster makes a brilliant statement, that learning about God and living with him are two completely different things. Nice. I like that. So suppose that poster makes me want to seek God on a deeper level. What is one to do? Well, the first thing would be to find someone you deem "Christian" and talk to them about it. From this person, lets say, you learn the teachings of Jesus and all he has to offer. So now you can check the "know about God" box of off your list and you can move on to the seemingly similar "know God." So you start putting Jesus' principles into action ,but you run into a problem. For some reason or another you can't seem to kick a bad habit or let go of an old temptation, a problem that everyone faces and will face for the rest of thier lives. Frustrated, you go to the same person who taught you about Jesus and ask for advice on what to do.
Now, everything up to this point has been routine. In any area of life your interested in, you are going to naturally seek out people who are experienced in that field and let them teach you everything you need to know. And while this works for 99.9% of the things in life, it does not work for God. There is no way that anybody on this earth can truly know anything unless they experience it for themselves. Example: My grandpa's lasagna. I can sit here and tell you about the gooey mozzarella cheeses and the hearty tomato sauce filled with thick chunks of Italian sausage and basil. I can tell you about the crunchy flavor packed garlic bread and home made lemonade that goes perfect with it. I can tell you all these things, but you will never know how good all that crap is until you bite into yourself; Until you put it in your mouth, chew it up, swallow it, and feel it run down the back of your throat into your stomach. That my friends is personal experience and it is the only way to honestly know something.
I say that because nobody can tell you who God is. No preacher, pastor, prophet, preist, minister, or missionary will ever give you what you need to walk your path laid out by the Lord, only he can do that. Doesn't that make sense? Don't you see that everybody was created in God's mind as thier own person and, in affect, has thier own path to walk? It is God's path people, you are the vehicle, freaking drive already and stop asking directions. Nobody is going to be able to tell you where your headed because that is God's choice, the only thing that other people can do is keep you in your car and your hands on the steering wheel. If you fall asleep and drive into a ditch then that is your fault. But don't go running to Brother Rastus for advice on how to get out. All he can do is simply get your car back on the road, your butt in the seat, and your hands placed promptly back on the steering wheel so you can drive head first into a ditch again. This process will happen over and over and over until you become comfortable in the ditch and start thinking that is where you are supposed to be. Well its not at all where your supposed to be and the only reason you think that is because you figure that if Brother Rastus, man of God, can't get you get driving straight then noone can.
So what does it take? Who and what have the answers we seek?
Our culture is a pathetic one. It is an understatement to say that I dislike most of the things going on because, to be honest, I pretty much hate all of it with everything that I am. We want everything given to us (think those people on MTV's Sweet Sixteen) and if it isn't then why work to obtain it if it causes us blood, sweat, and tears along the way. Our country is materialistic, shallow, and ignorant to most of the things that once made it great. Our founding fathers weren't smart, they were intelligent. They could think critically about situations and resolve issues that arose from any angle. We don't work like that anymore. We don't want to have to fight through things, we just want someone to tell us what to do so we can do it and if we fail, then we say that it isn't our fault and we just move on. This idea has saturated everything in our culture from school, all the way to our faith. People, life is hard. Life sucks. Things are going to happen that will piss you off and make you curse the world. And it is our human nature to want to know the who, what, when, where, and why of every situation, but the only person with those answers is God. And as willing as he is to give them to you, he won't unless you put some effort into it.
Now, it would be hypocritical of me to sit here and tell you how to go about finding God because that is exactly what I have been fighting against in this post. So all I am going to say is this, read the bible. But don't just read it, freaking READ it.
The word became flesh for a reason. God doesn't want you to wander through life like a crack addict on the streets, he wants you to be happy and happy you will be if you just understand who he is and who you are in relation to that.
I am an English major. I love to read and write and analyze things that most people would find hideously boring. It excites me to find underlying meanings in text that is hundreds of years old. Why? Because people back then used to care about their work. For example, if someone wrote a book, he didn't do it to sound smart or try to impress people with his skills, he did it because it wasn't the words he was putting on the paper, it was his soul. You can find this same idea in good musical artists. People who slave over thier lyrics because they don't want you to just listen to them, they want you to feel them. They want you to be there with them as they re-tell an experience or a person or a place in time. That's beautiful to me. To take something intangible and turn it into something that everyone can experience. I want that. When I write or do anything, I don't want to tell you about the experience, I want to give it you.
That is what God did with the bible. You can read it all you want but you will never get the true meaning of it unless you understand that it wasn't written as guidelines and rules so you don't burn in hell. It was written because you are a child of God and he wants to protect you from all of the horrible things that can happen to you. The relationship you have with your parents is the same one you have with God, you just have got to realize that. Sit down and analyze the text of the bible just one time and I promise that you'll find a new meaning to something that you've been reading your entire life. That is when the answers will come, that is when God will show you want you want to see. You might not always like it, but it will be the truth because that is the only thing he has to offer. For example, Jesus' sermon on the mount. Go ahead chew on that, see what it tastes like when you really go after it. Is anyone on this earth truly righteous? Is anyone truly meek? Is anyone truly hungry? Is anyone truly pure of heart? Or does everyone on earth just try to be those things? Jesus, if God blesses these people and noone is like that then how will we gain access to your kingdom? We would need something to cover for our sins, ya know something that is truly righteous, meek, hungry, pure of heart. Something that would take our pla............oh wow, I see what you did there. Check one for the Lord.
Emily Dickinson once said that, "They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse." That is one of the truest things I have ever heard. Our view from a human perspective is that God doesn't do enough in the world today. Well think about this, what if we are the ones not doing enough? Our world is infected with disease, poverty, and famine, and while we have the necessary tools to wipe these evil things out, we don't. We sit back and say,"Oh that sucks, I feel bad for those people." and we go on our own way. And this isn't to call anybody out because I am guilty of it just as much as the next person. But I beg of you, don't think that you can't make a difference. You can. You can make all the difference in the world for someone if you're just willing to give a little bit of yourself. This world will never be a better place if the people who have the power to do something don't. Remember that.
I'm tired. I haven't slept well lately and when I say lately, I mean that past 2 years. I'm drained in every sense of the word. Someone who is like a brother to me has just gotten the worst news you could ever imagine. My roommate's heart is broken and my sister is shriveling up in the guilt of it all. Neither one of them responsible for what has happened, just God leading them down different paths. The idea of a mother losing custody of her kids from a crackhead ex-husband breaks my heart. I learned tonight of some other things that weigh my heart down heavier than it has ever been.
One of my friends once called me a loner, said that I didn't need other people to make me happy. I couldn't disagree more. My life revolves around other people and to be honest, I love it. Physically I might be shot, lack of sleep due to worrying and such, but my soul has a purpose and thats all that matters. It is all that has ever mattered. I had to break tradition and it was hard but I found God on my own. His purpose for me and the path he laid was only discovered because I struggled to find it. I fought alot of nasty battles with myself and I still fight some today. The person I was, the person I wanted to be, and the person that I consciousely chose to be everyday when I woke up was being stripped down and taken away because I was being taught to find the answers in everything but myself. I always thought that someone had been through what I was going through before and that they would have the answers. Well noone will ever go through what you are going through in the exact same way. You are unique and so is your life. The only person that can get you through it is yourself and a belief that your gonna make it out of that situation better than when you went into it. My path, as of now, was a breeze. Great family and friends and the financial means to never worry about anything were all I needed until I began to understand that those things merely described me, they didn't define me. I wanted that defintion, I wanted that purpose.
All I ask of you is this, regardless if you want God now or not, you will want him sometime in your life. You might seek help to do so and I highly encourage that. Christianity is a communal activity, if you don't have people to support you then your road is going to be that much harder, that much more difficult. Just remember that God has what you want. You are going to have to struggle to find it though and you'll hit that ditch more times than you want to. But in the end, when all is said and done, you'll realize that it wasn't the destination that was important, it was the road you traveled to get there.
I've heard hours and hours worth of advice from people who appear to have what I want, but in all reality, aren't they exactly like me, rehashing and retelling the things they have heard from other people? Is there even a point in preaching a subject if your audience has heard it so many times that they have become numb to it's message? Where is the personal gain for someone being told what or what not to do for the nineteenth billion time? Do people not see the redundancy in this method of "teaching"?
I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore, I feel like everyone is being turned into a piece of meat: a piece of refined, factory made, run of the mill, americanized meat, coming fresh off an assembly line and it makes me sick. We are all taught a certain way to do things and it has led to a massive disconnect of what God is all about. I don't know why this has just hit me like a train but it is burning inside of me like a raging fire; I can feel the pressure of it inside my lungs and I am about to pop like a balloon that has been pushed to it's limits. Words cannot fully emphasize nor describe what I feel so I am asking you, the person reading this right now, to focus not on my words, but my meanings behind them.
I remember in the halls of my old high school I once saw a poster that read "Do you know Jesus, or do you just know about him?". Let's break that down. In essence, the poster makes a brilliant statement, that learning about God and living with him are two completely different things. Nice. I like that. So suppose that poster makes me want to seek God on a deeper level. What is one to do? Well, the first thing would be to find someone you deem "Christian" and talk to them about it. From this person, lets say, you learn the teachings of Jesus and all he has to offer. So now you can check the "know about God" box of off your list and you can move on to the seemingly similar "know God." So you start putting Jesus' principles into action ,but you run into a problem. For some reason or another you can't seem to kick a bad habit or let go of an old temptation, a problem that everyone faces and will face for the rest of thier lives. Frustrated, you go to the same person who taught you about Jesus and ask for advice on what to do.
Now, everything up to this point has been routine. In any area of life your interested in, you are going to naturally seek out people who are experienced in that field and let them teach you everything you need to know. And while this works for 99.9% of the things in life, it does not work for God. There is no way that anybody on this earth can truly know anything unless they experience it for themselves. Example: My grandpa's lasagna. I can sit here and tell you about the gooey mozzarella cheeses and the hearty tomato sauce filled with thick chunks of Italian sausage and basil. I can tell you about the crunchy flavor packed garlic bread and home made lemonade that goes perfect with it. I can tell you all these things, but you will never know how good all that crap is until you bite into yourself; Until you put it in your mouth, chew it up, swallow it, and feel it run down the back of your throat into your stomach. That my friends is personal experience and it is the only way to honestly know something.
I say that because nobody can tell you who God is. No preacher, pastor, prophet, preist, minister, or missionary will ever give you what you need to walk your path laid out by the Lord, only he can do that. Doesn't that make sense? Don't you see that everybody was created in God's mind as thier own person and, in affect, has thier own path to walk? It is God's path people, you are the vehicle, freaking drive already and stop asking directions. Nobody is going to be able to tell you where your headed because that is God's choice, the only thing that other people can do is keep you in your car and your hands on the steering wheel. If you fall asleep and drive into a ditch then that is your fault. But don't go running to Brother Rastus for advice on how to get out. All he can do is simply get your car back on the road, your butt in the seat, and your hands placed promptly back on the steering wheel so you can drive head first into a ditch again. This process will happen over and over and over until you become comfortable in the ditch and start thinking that is where you are supposed to be. Well its not at all where your supposed to be and the only reason you think that is because you figure that if Brother Rastus, man of God, can't get you get driving straight then noone can.
So what does it take? Who and what have the answers we seek?
Our culture is a pathetic one. It is an understatement to say that I dislike most of the things going on because, to be honest, I pretty much hate all of it with everything that I am. We want everything given to us (think those people on MTV's Sweet Sixteen) and if it isn't then why work to obtain it if it causes us blood, sweat, and tears along the way. Our country is materialistic, shallow, and ignorant to most of the things that once made it great. Our founding fathers weren't smart, they were intelligent. They could think critically about situations and resolve issues that arose from any angle. We don't work like that anymore. We don't want to have to fight through things, we just want someone to tell us what to do so we can do it and if we fail, then we say that it isn't our fault and we just move on. This idea has saturated everything in our culture from school, all the way to our faith. People, life is hard. Life sucks. Things are going to happen that will piss you off and make you curse the world. And it is our human nature to want to know the who, what, when, where, and why of every situation, but the only person with those answers is God. And as willing as he is to give them to you, he won't unless you put some effort into it.
Now, it would be hypocritical of me to sit here and tell you how to go about finding God because that is exactly what I have been fighting against in this post. So all I am going to say is this, read the bible. But don't just read it, freaking READ it.
The word became flesh for a reason. God doesn't want you to wander through life like a crack addict on the streets, he wants you to be happy and happy you will be if you just understand who he is and who you are in relation to that.
I am an English major. I love to read and write and analyze things that most people would find hideously boring. It excites me to find underlying meanings in text that is hundreds of years old. Why? Because people back then used to care about their work. For example, if someone wrote a book, he didn't do it to sound smart or try to impress people with his skills, he did it because it wasn't the words he was putting on the paper, it was his soul. You can find this same idea in good musical artists. People who slave over thier lyrics because they don't want you to just listen to them, they want you to feel them. They want you to be there with them as they re-tell an experience or a person or a place in time. That's beautiful to me. To take something intangible and turn it into something that everyone can experience. I want that. When I write or do anything, I don't want to tell you about the experience, I want to give it you.
That is what God did with the bible. You can read it all you want but you will never get the true meaning of it unless you understand that it wasn't written as guidelines and rules so you don't burn in hell. It was written because you are a child of God and he wants to protect you from all of the horrible things that can happen to you. The relationship you have with your parents is the same one you have with God, you just have got to realize that. Sit down and analyze the text of the bible just one time and I promise that you'll find a new meaning to something that you've been reading your entire life. That is when the answers will come, that is when God will show you want you want to see. You might not always like it, but it will be the truth because that is the only thing he has to offer. For example, Jesus' sermon on the mount. Go ahead chew on that, see what it tastes like when you really go after it. Is anyone on this earth truly righteous? Is anyone truly meek? Is anyone truly hungry? Is anyone truly pure of heart? Or does everyone on earth just try to be those things? Jesus, if God blesses these people and noone is like that then how will we gain access to your kingdom? We would need something to cover for our sins, ya know something that is truly righteous, meek, hungry, pure of heart. Something that would take our pla............oh wow, I see what you did there. Check one for the Lord.
Emily Dickinson once said that, "They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse." That is one of the truest things I have ever heard. Our view from a human perspective is that God doesn't do enough in the world today. Well think about this, what if we are the ones not doing enough? Our world is infected with disease, poverty, and famine, and while we have the necessary tools to wipe these evil things out, we don't. We sit back and say,"Oh that sucks, I feel bad for those people." and we go on our own way. And this isn't to call anybody out because I am guilty of it just as much as the next person. But I beg of you, don't think that you can't make a difference. You can. You can make all the difference in the world for someone if you're just willing to give a little bit of yourself. This world will never be a better place if the people who have the power to do something don't. Remember that.
I'm tired. I haven't slept well lately and when I say lately, I mean that past 2 years. I'm drained in every sense of the word. Someone who is like a brother to me has just gotten the worst news you could ever imagine. My roommate's heart is broken and my sister is shriveling up in the guilt of it all. Neither one of them responsible for what has happened, just God leading them down different paths. The idea of a mother losing custody of her kids from a crackhead ex-husband breaks my heart. I learned tonight of some other things that weigh my heart down heavier than it has ever been.
One of my friends once called me a loner, said that I didn't need other people to make me happy. I couldn't disagree more. My life revolves around other people and to be honest, I love it. Physically I might be shot, lack of sleep due to worrying and such, but my soul has a purpose and thats all that matters. It is all that has ever mattered. I had to break tradition and it was hard but I found God on my own. His purpose for me and the path he laid was only discovered because I struggled to find it. I fought alot of nasty battles with myself and I still fight some today. The person I was, the person I wanted to be, and the person that I consciousely chose to be everyday when I woke up was being stripped down and taken away because I was being taught to find the answers in everything but myself. I always thought that someone had been through what I was going through before and that they would have the answers. Well noone will ever go through what you are going through in the exact same way. You are unique and so is your life. The only person that can get you through it is yourself and a belief that your gonna make it out of that situation better than when you went into it. My path, as of now, was a breeze. Great family and friends and the financial means to never worry about anything were all I needed until I began to understand that those things merely described me, they didn't define me. I wanted that defintion, I wanted that purpose.
All I ask of you is this, regardless if you want God now or not, you will want him sometime in your life. You might seek help to do so and I highly encourage that. Christianity is a communal activity, if you don't have people to support you then your road is going to be that much harder, that much more difficult. Just remember that God has what you want. You are going to have to struggle to find it though and you'll hit that ditch more times than you want to. But in the end, when all is said and done, you'll realize that it wasn't the destination that was important, it was the road you traveled to get there.
posted by John @ 11:57 PM
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